Shenanigans and Hooligans

Did anybody get to watch the TV Land Show, High School Reunion?
You may or may not be turned off by the drama which occurs naturally at these real life events.
AJ and I watched it, mainly because she shared the same graduation year of 1987.
Sometimes we laughed and sometimes we nodded our heads in bewilderment of the happenings on the show.
I would like to announce that the previous mentioned show has NOTHING on the MHS Class of 1978.
You want drama, comedy, "I couldn't make this up stuff"?
Welcome to the upcoming (June 20,21) Muskogee High School 30 Year Reunion!

Am I right lesliereid?

lesliereid started a website for our class and the response has been phenomenal.
The message board has been hot with activity in more ways than one.
Classmates who were keeping hidden secrets are finally finding the freedom to come out and express their joy!
Classmates who were already nuts are proving their behavior in high school was no fluke. Their personalities were fully developed while in high school.
Why change something that is already perfect?
I think we had over 500 in our graduating class.
I remember back then hearing that almost 700 had actually begun the year but only 500 made it through the entire year to graduation for one reason or another.

Episode 1 of MHS 30 Year Reunion: Glen OR Glenda?
Episode 2: Hey man, your mom is HOT!!!
Episode 3: Hey girl, your mom is HOT too!!
Episode4: Everybody's mom is Hot!!! Let's get wasted!!!!
Episode 5: I put the "Dis" in Gruntled!
Episode 6: Come on really! Glenda or Glen?
Episode 7. What happened in the basement STAYS in the basement!

Stay tuned for more hijinx from The MHS Class of 1978

The Big Picture.

Click on the little picture to get the "Big Picture".

The Good Doctor.

The doctor that brought me and 8,000 other babies into the world has passed away.
Here is the link for the good doctor's story.
Truly one of a kind.

That's all.

Dear Cassi Jo.

3 years ago I did a post called something like: Dear Cassi Jo.

Bloggers would ask her quesitons and she would answer them with her 5-year old God given wisdom.

I thought it might be time to try it again.

Actually, she asked if she could do it again. Since she's 8 now I bet she has way lots more to say.

So here we go....

Let me ask the first question.

Dear Cassi Jo, I have trouble sleeping at night. What should I do?

love, Dad.

Butterfly Girl Sings for Show-and-tell.

I finally talked Cassi into letting me bring my guitar and playing while she sang at Friday's Show and tell.

I've never had a more proud "Dad Moment" with her as I did Friday.

She fought through embarassment and nerves and sang her heart out.

We sang 'The Summer Wind' originally heard by my ears being sung by Frank Sinatra.

When she was finished, the classroom exploded with applause.
Shouts of "Cassidy, YOU are so GOOD!!!!" could be heard.

Her teacher and a former teacher were almost speechless.

I'm not prejudiced. She was that good!

My youngest daughter desperately needs this affirmation from her classmates.

It was truly a magical moment.

Batman, Spiderman, and Butterfly Girl.

Cassidy's 2nd grade class was given a cool assignment. Each student was asked to pick an insect or an animal. They were given the weekend to prepare a handwritten report which they were to present orally to the class.
Cassidy selected "Butterflies", so our weekend was centered around Butterfly books and building a "Diarama" sp?
AJ and I both decided to attend the 2 or 3 minute presentation.
Cassidy did a wonderful job. She had prepared well and pronounced new words such as, nourishment, thorax, mimicry, and antennae ,flawlessly, though seeing the word antennae made her say 'antler's' the first few reading attempts.
Cassidy repeatedly turned down my offers to dress up like a huge butterfly and fly into the classroom unannounced.
Do you think dad would actually embarass her like that.
She's also refused my offers to show up at "Show and Tell" as Robot Dad.
She could say "My dad is a robot and I could walk robotic around the classroom and bump into walls and stuff.
What's wrong with her?
Doesn't she appreciate me?

The next kids topic was "Spiders". He was very soft-spoken and spoke with a slight " lithp" due to some missing front teeth.
The students were allowed to ask questions or give comments.
After the students had finished their questions I raised my hand.

When he nervously pointed to me, I asked the all important question. A question for the ages:
" Ummm........Can Spiderman beat up Batman?"

Poor kid. He didn't know what hit him.
Five seconds of silence and then I smiled and laughed and then the kids turned around and looked at me and started giggling.
Cassidy looked at me very red faced and said, "My dad likes Batman".

Then a kid yelled very loudly "BATMAN WOULD TEAR HIM UP!!!!"

And a little child shall lead them........

Monkey see-Monkey doo.

There's a lively debate going on over at Jamiedawns blog.

If you believe the pic to the left is your greatxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx grandfather pay her a visit.

If you don't, you should also visit her blog. She's a very funny, classy lady with a wonderful family who we've had to pleasure to meet.

Why do evolutionists feel it's their life work to prove we came from monkeys, and call folks who don't agree with them "uneducated?"

Geez, get a life.

Maybe it's time to let "Sleeping Monkeys Lie". :-)

The "Foolishness of the World" will always confound the wise.

We have a winner!

Thanks everybody for playing!
The winner is lesliereid.
She will receive a copy of my autobiography: The Story of Uncle Joe: Meanness Don't Happen Overnight.
It's about 4 thousand pages long. Since meanness don't happen overnight it's a day by day diary beginning in Kindergarten when this mean kid named Robert Healey stole my toy gun.

Here is an explanation for the random celeb meetings.
I was the only boy for years on my mom's side of the family. Lots of girls meant that when visiting, sometimes for weeks at a time in the summer, I was prone to their influence. They LOVED Donny Osmond!
Donny and Marie came to Muskogee for a concert and Donny came out to front of the stage and started walking over the chairs shaking hands. My cousins and my sister rushed the stage and got caught in the crowd. Meanwhile Donny made his way around the crowd stepping over chairs and stepped in the chair right next to me, where my cousin Lisa was siting before she rushed the stage.
I shook his hand, took a picture and then gloated to my cousin that Donny had actually stood in HER chair!

Judge Reinhold came walking into the Schlotzsky's in Santa Fe and ordered "Lumberjack Stew".
"Judge, your order of Lumberjack Stew is ready!", was announced to his dismay over the intercom.
I still don't know what Lumberjack Stew is.

Jim Stafford's singer told the audience, "I saw a guy with some great legs somewhere over there and made them spotlight where I was sitting. (I was the youngest male in the audience so I guess her statement HAD to be true)
She walked over to me and took my hand and then made me sing part of Great Balls of Fire and then said "Show them what you can do!" and I danced with her. Then she sat me down and sang a love song to me and when it was over I thought about laying one on her right there on the stage.
My mom was in the audience and called her the Sultry Singer in the Green Dress. haha.

I was in a jazz band that played for Will Sampson's college reunion in Tahlequah, Oklahoma. We stood in a circle and talked with him for a long time.
A genuinely nice man.

In other news: My heart echocardiogram came back and the results showed NO MAJOR CHANGE, STILL STABLE, maybe even a slight improvement!
Thank you if you've been praying for me.
I think my family has noticed a change in my outlook on life recently.
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One of the books we had to read in high school was Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451.
This is a little known fact, but did you know that recently an early Bradbury manuscript was found entitled Gesundheit! 451?
It's based on the premise that if 451 people around the world sneeze at the same time weather patterns across the world will be affected.
Tsunami's, Tornado Alley, you get the idea.
Cool huh?
Sort of an early version of The Butterfly Effect.
That Bradbury is a genius.

An Uncle Joe Celebrity Quiz.

I've met or seen very few famous people in my life. Here is a multiple choice quiz of actors or singers I've actually met or sighted.

I shook hands with this 70's teen hearthrob at a concert in the 80's.

Was it:

1) David Cassidy

2) Donny Osmond

3) Bobby Sherman

4)Shaun Cassidy

In 1986 I was in Sante Fe, New Mexico eating dinner with some relatives at a Schlotzsky's. What actor walked in the door and ordered the "Lumberjack Stew" and spent the evening nervously ignoring the stares while looking over a script?

1) Cheech Marin (Cheech and Chong)

2)Leslie Nielsen ( Airplane, Naked Gun)

3) Judge Reinhold ( Beverly Hills Cop, The Santa Clause)

4) Bill Murray (Ghostbusters, Stripes)

Also around 1987 I went to Branson, Missouri and was called up to the stage and made to sing and dance. What entertainer's female singer made them spotlight me and sang a love song to me?

1)Boxcar Willie

2)Jim Stafford

3)Ray Stevens

4) Roy Clark

In 1980 the NSU Jazz Band was asked to play for this Native American actors college reunion.

Was it:

1) Wes Studi (Geronimo)

2)Will Sampson ( One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Outlaw Josie Wales)

3) Jay Silverheels ( The Lone Ranger)

4) Graham Greene (Thunderheart)

The first person to guess all 4 completely will receive a copy of my autobiography:

The Story of Uncle Joe: Meanness Don't Happen Overnight.

Good luck!

Just call me Gus, I mean, Gil.

When we arrived at the Jazz Stage, this man was apparently lying on the ground catching some rays taking a nap.

My Bat-sense (10 times stronger than Spidey-sense) was on high alert almost immediately.

Shortly thereafter I concluded that the poor man had died in the sun, in his sleep, at the park.

Sort of like Clue; Colonal Mustard, in the Library, with the Rope.

I quickly grabbed AJ's CSI bag and expertly drew a chalk-line in the grass, took pics with her Gil Grissom CSI Polaroid, and began swabbing his ears for DNA.

I assessed from the DNA results that Jazz had NOT killed this man.

AJ arrived on the scene soon after wearing tight jeans and a low cut blouse.

I lost consciousness right after that and woke up lying next to the victim with a large Turkey Leg in one hand, covered entirely in Kettle Corn.

In reality this guy lay there for almost two hours and when he woke up appeared to have maybe taken some sort of recreational drug.(Maybe it was a vendor bought huge Turkey leg).

He turned around and kept staring up into the sun with his eyes making weird faces.

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A few stories you won't find in the Denton newspaper:

I noticed a sign across a huge parking lot in Denton that clearly said :

"Endurance Specialist". After cleaning my glasses for a clearer view, the sign actually read, "Insurance Specialist".

Same thing if you ask me.

I'm going to tell this story before AJ beats me to the punch.

We stopped on the road for AJ to get a coffee. While she was in the convenience store Terry called my cell phone. He was talking loud and I really couldn't understand him so, being my ususal goofy self, I picked up a styrofoam cup from the floorboard and popped a hole in the bottom of it and held it up to the phone and yelled through it. I'm a comedy genius.

Five miles down the road AJ's coffee was still too hot to drink so I came up with a brilliant plan.

I would pour some coffee into a smaller cup, thereby allowing it to cool faster for her.

Need I say more?

Way to go Batman!!!!!!

Blast from the past.

We're going to be gone on a mini vacation for the weekend so I pulled the most embarassing moment of my life out of the archives.

Laugh with me or at me. It's okay. I can take it.

WARNING! If you don't like toilet humor then DO NOT PROCEED!

Consider yourself warned.

The problem may have well started when I ordered Stromboli after band practice Fri. night.

We are at Pizza Inn....."What would you like sir?""

I'll have the Stromboli..."

Blank stare.

Stromboleee..."

Smile. Quizzical look.

Blank Stare.

"SStrommmmbolleeee....."

Quizzical smile.

Non-recognition of verbal patterns coming from customer to waitress.

"I'll have the SStrommmbbolllayyyy...."

By now the chatter of my band/table mates had stopped.

What is he ordering?

Friend/bass player Bill and I are now experimenting with the various ways to say Stromboli.

Waitress: "I have never heard of that."

I open the menu and point and say "Ssstrommbboleeeee!

"Waitress: "Nobody's ever ordered that before.

That should have been my first clue.

I did indeed have a medium order of Stromboli of which I ate half of, the other half in a Go-Box for later Strombo-bobulating.

Next Morning....Cold Stromboli for breakfast..add one Cinnabon 15 minutes later.

This is when the Dark Side began to take over my innards, soon to begin it's quest for domination of the Force and all who consider it holy.

First came a belch....... Then another belch...and another and (you get the picture).

My family says, "Gawwwwd!, who farted?"

Says I proudly, "That was no fart, that was a belch!"

"Stay away from me!" ........"Okay, no problem."

Cut to: Five hours of belching, take my Nexium, realize that at any moment this thing could reverse itself as my lower abdomen begins rumbling and cramping.

Time to load up to play at the aforementioned benefit for Brother Tod.

On the ride over I warn Bill and Laurie that there could be trouble as I have this intestinal problem that won't go away.

The windows are soon lowered with cries for help coming from the front and back seat.

Arrive at the Civic Center and unload and begin to set up the sound system, with a warning: "I'm having aproblem, so if I tell you not to walk over here or there you'd best listen to me"

My Christian brothers and sisters happily oblige my request.

I'm desperately waiting for this to conclude itself with a well timed trip to the restroom.

After setting up the sound system, tuning instruments and generally bouncing off the wall for over an hour I make the announcement:

"I'm going to the bathroom, wish me well."

The first thing I notice in the bathroom is a pile of clothes, a tube of glue on the counter and some clothes in the floor and then black boots and red pants attached to a man pacing back and forth in front of a 30 foot mirror.

I say, "Hey."

He says, " ................?"

I pick my stall and say a small prayer that all will be well.

All is not well as the 4Th of July in December in stall #1 at the Civic Center, in the second floor men's bathroom, commences.

Sounds and squeals never before heard from this man's ears are richocheting off the stall door and bouncing off the walls of the restroom.

I never studied Commode Physics but I have learned that a commode does indeed make a fine echo chamber and has nary a conscience in buffeting the human condition of food poisoning.

Belches followed wind for at least ten minutes, intermingled only by my laughing at the pure silliness of the situation.

After making the strategic battle decision that all is as well as can be for this moment I once again say a prayer that I can make it through our performance without embarassing myself or literally making my bandmates sick.

So I open the stall door and there stands; Kris Kringle.

Yes the one and only Santa himself. PaPa Gigio. The betrayer of my youth.

The no horse bringing ( Christmas 1968) cookie eatin' fatman.

Santa is looking at himself in the mirror.

Slowly his head turns to see the tortured soul in Stall#1 coming out, head down, eyes half closed praying, "Please don't look Santa, please don't look Santa..."

But Santa did look.

Santa watched me wash my hands and straighten my shirt.

Santa watched me stumble out the door.

Santa did not ask me what I wanted for Christmas.

Did not ask me if I'd been a good boy.

Santa did not offer his sure expertise on the hazards of leftovers or Sssstrrrommmbollleeee from Pizza Inn.

I don't know what to think of Santa anymore.

ps. (Added Sunday night)All's well that ends well.
Posted by Uncle Joe at 12/11/2005 01:00:00 PM

Random news and a little ditty.

Here is a link to a vote more important than the Pennsylvania Primary.

Every vote counts.

It's great to be an American, is it not?

In other news I had an echocardiagram yesterday. Stand by for results.

I think the ladies who did the echo found something different as they were less talkative than usual.

I can't believe summer is almost upon us. Just me and the kids. Just the kids and me.

Daddy can we go the Disneyworld?????

Daddy can we go on a cruise?????

Can we go see the Jonas Brothers in Europe??????

How come we can't go to Europe? So and so is getting to go to Europe and live with the Jonas Brothers for 3 weeks!!!!!!

Daddy, I'm not having funnnnnnnn!!!!!

Daddy can we stand on our head on top of the house and then swan dive into the kiddy pool?

Daddy!!!!Red rover, red rover, can ALL my friends come over for a sleepover?

Daddy can we?

Daddy can we?

Daaaadddddddddyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Thanks to David McMahon for the new blog traffic and friends.

I wrote this little ditty in response to one of his rhymes.

My great old aunt, prefers not, the work of a surrealist.
She simply states "Most certainly, I prefer forrealist"
She tried to skitter past the art with appreciation feigning.
But Dali, reaching out, pulled her inside the painting.
We've neither seen nor spoke of her ever since, yet sometimes walking past,
Inside the painting we often hear, "Quit pulling my mustache!"


Oklahoma's Governor supports Barama.
( haha did you notice I wrote Barama? who is Barama? I was half asleep when I wrote that this morning)


Have a beautiful day blogger friends and readers who don't comment but should!