Note to Self: Self, take a sleeping aid with you next time you go camping with your family. Your family will love you all the more the next day.
How to have fun at the Mall:
1) Walk in the Halloween Bootique and scream like you've been stabbed in the neck. Fake blood and a real knife helps.
2) Walk into Regis Hairstylist Salon and yell, "Where's Kelly? (Ripa)
3) Alert the Marine Recruit Office that the all the guys at the Army Recruit
office said they were sissies.
4) Crawl into GNC on your stomach and mutter, "Steroids.....now........!!!"
5) While approaching EyeMart Express walk into the clear glass wall 5 or 6 times, give up and walk away.
6) At Christmas time, paint red splotches all over your arms and face and stand in line at Bath and Body Works with a half-empty bottle of lotion and a receipt.
7) Skip into Candy Craze and bag up 5 lbs. of candy. Tell them all you have is a new shiny penny. Walk out crying for your mommy.
8) Stroll into Riddles Jewelry and begin talking in riddles. Or dress up like the Riddler and query, "Have you got something in the shape of a bat?"
9) Go into Vanity Clothing Store and sing "You're so Vain".
10) For men only: Walk out of Snip n Clip holding your business and yell, "Those bargain vasectomies hurt like heck!!!!" Then stumble into the Army Recruit Office and tell them you're ready to join.