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Monday, April 28, 2008

Just call me Gus, I mean, Gil.

When we arrived at the Jazz Stage, this man was apparently lying on the ground catching some rays taking a nap.

My Bat-sense (10 times stronger than Spidey-sense) was on high alert almost immediately.

Shortly thereafter I concluded that the poor man had died in the sun, in his sleep, at the park.

Sort of like Clue; Colonal Mustard, in the Library, with the Rope.

I quickly grabbed AJ's CSI bag and expertly drew a chalk-line in the grass, took pics with her Gil Grissom CSI Polaroid, and began swabbing his ears for DNA.

I assessed from the DNA results that Jazz had NOT killed this man.

AJ arrived on the scene soon after wearing tight jeans and a low cut blouse.

I lost consciousness right after that and woke up lying next to the victim with a large Turkey Leg in one hand, covered entirely in Kettle Corn.

In reality this guy lay there for almost two hours and when he woke up appeared to have maybe taken some sort of recreational drug.(Maybe it was a vendor bought huge Turkey leg).

He turned around and kept staring up into the sun with his eyes making weird faces.


A few stories you won't find in the Denton newspaper:

I noticed a sign across a huge parking lot in Denton that clearly said :

"Endurance Specialist". After cleaning my glasses for a clearer view, the sign actually read, "Insurance Specialist".

Same thing if you ask me.

I'm going to tell this story before AJ beats me to the punch.

We stopped on the road for AJ to get a coffee. While she was in the convenience store Terry called my cell phone. He was talking loud and I really couldn't understand him so, being my ususal goofy self, I picked up a styrofoam cup from the floorboard and popped a hole in the bottom of it and held it up to the phone and yelled through it. I'm a comedy genius.

Five miles down the road AJ's coffee was still too hot to drink so I came up with a brilliant plan.

I would pour some coffee into a smaller cup, thereby allowing it to cool faster for her.

Need I say more?

Way to go Batman!!!!!!


Aunt Jo said...

That was the BEST laugh I had all day. UJ never screws up like that. Hahahah!!!!

Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

You are brilliant...and brilliantly funny. Puts a smile on my face to read your posts..

david mcmahon said...

Er, you ARE Batman, aren't you?!!!

Jamie Dawn said...

Ha, ha, tee, hee, snort!!

Maybe that feller was knocked over by someone's bad breath.
Maybe he's pregnant and just fainted from heat exhaustion.
Maybe he got struck by lightning. Did you find any evidence of burning? Huh! Did ya?

Isn't it Gil Grissom??
Who's Gus?

Funny stuff here, UJ.

Uncle Joe said...

Gus is Gil's twin retarded brother.

R said...

You are not a comedy genius, you are a freak. LOL