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Saturday, July 15, 2006

Why I wear the Batmask: Reason #7


I've been asked over and over, "Batman, why do you wear the mask?"

I've decided to shed some light on the mystery of the mask and today I will share with you reason # 7.

My ears have been growing at a tremendous rate for years and soon the top of my ears will be perfectly aligned with my eyebrows.
Research has shown that mens ears grow in cycles of 7 years.
Why seven years?
That means in 28 years I'll .....well...nevermind.
I have already designed a new mask with small ear holes to allow for the growth of grey ear hair that I understand will enable my already hyper sensitive bat hearing to operate at an even higher level.
Coming next week: Rashes and the Batsuit....

22 comments:

Aunt Jo said...

Umm....I am first, but I am not sure for what. None of your linkies worked. Maybe I am not holding my tongue right. Let me try again. BRB.......nope they still don't work.

Do over Joe!!

uncle joe said...

I took the links out they wouldn't get hip to the jive....

Badoozie said...

wow, i was worried that i was not the first commentor, but i see you two have hogged up your own first and second spots.

now, have there been other reasons somewhere on this blog that i missed? or is there just no reason that your starting with reason number 7?

as for the ear hair making your hearing more sensitive, does that help at all with "selective hearing"?

Anne said...

What about nose growth?

Seeker said...

OK, let's all be hip to the jive, now.

uncle joe said...

Anne, nose growth in indeed a problem especially with the new lightweight mask I've been wearing. It shows more nose.
Noses, fortunately have been shown not to begin their extra growth stage until year 60...

Badoozer,#7 is biblical also the growth spurt lasts seven years.

It's also the last grade I completed in college....

Seven years of college down the drain.....

Seeker, you been hip to the jive long time now.....

~QZ~ said...

might i remind you that proper husbands would go and have those ears surgically reduced, in order not to repulse their beautiful wives?

Badoozie said...

what
do i have diseases? anne is over here cheating on me, i have no comments from anne in like decades, and she's over here. i'm jealous. and i'm pouting

uncle joe said...

QZ, let's talk about the phenomenon of ear growth and wives.
Shouldn't the ears start shrinking instead of growing so in later years the man can have some peace and quiet?

Saur♥Kraut said...

I'm really glad you clarified this. I've suspected it for a long time.

Jamie Dawn said...

I never knew that about the ears. Very interesting tidbit. Should I call you Dumbo?
I'm anxious to hear about the rashes. They sound quite hideous. I'm sure the batsuit has no breathing room, and air doesn't reach "certain" areas.
How ghastly!
Pass the Gold Bond Powder!

uncle joe said...

"Dumbo" is my other secret identity. Now it's not a secret any more... Thanks JD!

Ted said...

Remember when you went through that "Kiss phase" and you wore the make-up but nobody knew because you also wore your batmask?

EmmaSometimes said...

maybe then the rash would be from the makeup or maybe a spit rash from hanging your tounge out..of course, obscured from view by the batmask.

Leslee said...

Yes, don't make us wait until next week to hear all about the rashes.

Jamie Dawn said...

Hey, Dumbo,
I came by hoping to see photos of bat-rashes.
I hear those are really nasty.
I hope for AJ's sake, they are not contagious.

Anne said...

Hey Badoozer, you can stop pouting now.

uncle joe said...

Ted, yes I remember the "Kiss" phase..what surprises me is that you do....

Aunt Jo said...

Somebody pass the itchy medicine!

Badoozie said...

wonderful. anne got her message. that means through my excellent calculations that she visited your blog AGAIN before she visited mine. shes gonna pay. i'm gonna visit her next, and raise the roof on their somewhat non-chaotic home. hmmmmmmmmmmm


ok
please step away from the moving box and post something for the love of everything holy

Anne said...

shoobee doobee doo

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot!
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