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Thursday, December 08, 2005

JAMIE DAWN AND ME

Remember? I was 6th grade, you were 4th grade. I just fell off the monkey bars and you laughed and said
"Hey sissy boy, you want me to show you how the girls do it?" I wiped the dirt off my britches and the tear out of my eye and yelled, "I'm a musician, not an athlete!." I ran away straight to violin practice. I would carry my violin to school. It was only a 2 block walk and you soon became my guardian angel. When the big boys would throw rocks and yell, "Music is for Sissies!", you would laugh with them but then take up for me. You would jump on their back and mercilessly drive their head into the ground. I would laugh and hit them over the head with my violin. We became quite the team and were feared throughout the neighborhood. Soon we would begin to beat up the Big Boys for no reason. Then one day I swung too hard with my violin and it shattered into a hundred pieces. I contemplated learning the tuba but found I couldn't even pick it up. That's when I became a flautist. That was the beginning of the end for us as nobody took us serious because the flute can only cause so much fear in the heart of the enemy. By the end of my senior year our time together had become a faint memory. Within 5 years you had fallen in love with and actor/singer and moved to California and changed your name to Stevie Nicks. I became the lead flautist in the Sun Yung Moon Orchestra. I have really missed you and think fondly of our time together in the old neighborhood where you taught me that I could be a musician and a man at the same time.


UPDATE: I was later booted out of the SYM Orchestra for striking the 1st violinist in the back of the head while playing for President Clinton at the WhiteHouse. I am the official coffee taster for Maxwell House Coffee. You later gained fame as a goddess singer who would cast spells on the audience and make them buy your music. I heard you are doing much better now.

JAMIE DAWN, I'm starting to believe this. Gotta go, the moonies are at the door.


Check out jamiesmindlessblather.blogspot.com for your REMEMORY.

7 comments:

Ted said...

I was one of the sissy musicians that you and Jamie Dawn beat up repeatedly. It was terrible explaining the indentations on my soft impressionable forehead, shaped like violin strings and then flute keys.I used to dream of making a guitar shaped like an axe but could never afford the royalty payments to Gene Simmons so I just wrote protest songs and wore headgear untill you graduated. That 9th grade was the worst 3 years of my life

uncle joe said...

That explains the headgear. We thought you were one of the Big Boys since you had a football helmet on. What is the statute of limitations for apologies?

Ted said...

there is a law about statues where I live but with this constant ringing in my ears i can't remember if an apology statue is ok

Aunt Jo said...

Where my pie?!!

Jamie Dawn said...

Very cool! I almost forgot all about that!
My brother is a fabulous piano player and was never into sports. I sang throughout school and all the guys that were my musician friends in college would tease each other about being sissies. I guess it comes with the territory.
You're right about the flute not coming off as a fear inducing instrument. A tuba or an oboe would be better.
I feel like beating someone up now. I'll wake up one of my kids and smack them. Maybe they will just think it was a bad dream.

uncle joe said...

Auntie J, where did you leave your pie? Ted, you'd better check your briefs. Jamie D, Thanks for the time that you've given me, the memories are all in my mind. But now that we've come to the end of our rainbow I feel that I must say outloud............

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm once, twice, three times a lady. Good thing, thanks to my elliptical trainer, I'm not three times the size of a lady. That would REALLY make me want to smack someone around.