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Monday, April 17, 2006

Change or Opportunity?

I'm going to attempt to go deep today. Please understand that my field no longer goes the full hundred yards.
I'm supposed to be getting wiser the older I get, but it seems lately I am just more confused.
I could blame it on the illness or the medication I suppose..

There was a time when I welcomed change. My mother used to joke that I was a true Gemini, always changing my mind and my clothes. But since I don't believe in astrology I've had to throw that opinion by the wayside and deal with the issue in other ways.

I think some of my need for change was probably inherited from my mom's dad. He was always changing jobs. Seemed that he got Bored after learning a job and just needed to move on.
Maybe he had ADD. I look back on my school years and am pretty sure I had/have some sort of degree of this maddening affliction of the thought processes. I also have to deal with the fact that my decisions affect the three lovely ladies in my house that God has blessed me with.

It could also be that I was running away from the harder issues in life. Probably a mixture of a lot of things, that truly are in the past and need to be remembered now only as a reminder to not live that way anymore since I have a family who is affected by my decisions.

I'm probably not alone in confessing that I have had trouble in discerning God's will for the changes in life versus my will for the changes.

Back to the present.
We, as a family, are facing quite a few change challenges.
The first is the question of my health and how long i'll be able to continue before my heart starts weakening more and I need a heart transplant. That's an evergoing problem and the changes in my health are only noticeable after long periods of time.

The second is the opportunity for us to move to a town about eight miles away into a nicer house than we own now. Moving a familiy, even only eight miles away, can cause serious consequences if it's the wrong thing to do.

Thirdly, it has become increasingly evident that it's time for us to find a new church family/church.
Since returning to church over ten years ago, I've always needed to have stability in this area of our life. Church hopping is not good for any family.

We've been with our present church family 3 years and really I would have left over a year ago if it had not been for the issue of stability for my children. We HAVE wonderful friends there and are not mad at anybody (for those of you we attend church with).
There are well meaning people who will invariably ask, "Why are you leaving?"
I'm really not going to answer that, because really it's really nobody's business.
That's how rumors get started because even well meaning folks can misconstrue what was just said to them 5 minutes ago, much less two days ago.

Change has always been like this for me.
Call it opportunity if you like.
It always comes in bunches. It comes from every angle and side.

Of course I know God is in control. The still small voice is has just been extremely hard for me to hear these days.

I would love to answer any questions or read your opinions on these matters. I highly value your advice.


Seeker said...

Thanks for opening your heart to share these concerns. I'll be praying for you and the family. Am considering an email to you. Have to think about what to say...

Anonymous said...

well, the one question i have, you said is none of my business. other than that, i do have some questions.
or rather comments. i think the new house would be a good thing. your family could use a little change of scenery. sometimes, change is for the better. and i've heard that house is bigger, etc.

i can relate to you on decisions. i hate making tough decisions. like leaving a church. that is not an easy thing to do. or moving to another town. i would not want to do that. sometimes i do, cause i hate it here, but then when i think about uprooting, i back off.

all i can say, is remove toxins, remove toxic people, and cleanse your life of as much stress as possible.

Bryan said...

My pastor, as well as other saints at the church we attend, seem to do quite well at hearing God's voice (not audible) and knowing which direction to take. But I personally know what it is you're going through with regard to the uncertainty of what God's will is, at times. That can be frustrating. I do know though that being able to discern God's will takes practice, and time spent in His presence regularly. I think people like you and I tend to make it harder than it should be, Uncle Joe. Not a judgment against you. Just an observation with regard to my own life.

We have also experienced the church hopping syndrome in different chapters of our lives. It's no fun, I know.

You'll know what to do when the time comes.

Joh 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me

BTW, I also believe in miracles and that God can completely heal your heart, Uncle Joe. I just wanted to encourage you in this and to let you know that I will pray for your needs. And please feel free to email a prayer request to our church, if you like.

Jamie Dawn said...

Our Easter message at church was called Why We Listen to God.
I think that the fact that you are weighing these choices carefully and wanting to do what you think God wants is all you can do before taking a step.
Decisions are hard to make, and I think we often stagnate because we are too afraid to step out and take action.
After you've prayed, thought, and talked it through with Jo, then move ahead in the direction you feel is best.

Anne said...

I will pray for the Lord to guide you.

ANP said...

take ONE of these issues at a time: make a decision regarding this ONE issue and move forward. Believe it or not, that's all the advice I have to give. Oh, I forgot to say, do what feels best to you regardless of what the rest of us say. I think that really you have made the decisions, now just move forward. To quote a familiar saying, you know that you'll be carried through when you can't walk. Love.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Good for you. You are handling this in a healthy way, and trying to be as realistic, but kind, as you possibly can be. All that being said, ditto to Susie who is an extremely wise and loving person (as you know). I don't know why you want to move, though. But be sure that you're moving to a place where you'll have support no matter what you're facing. And get other opinions on your heart condition. I hope you're on a donor list. I'll be praying for you guys.

Aunt Jo said...

Thanks to you all for your thoughts on these concerns for our family. You are all cherished very much.

Jenn said...

That is very wise of you not to talk about your reasons for wanting to change churches. Most people do not care to think this through before they start talking.

I will add you guys to my prayer list.

Anonymous said...

ankle biter!!

Anonymous said...

it's time to notifiy you that this post is officially stale. go forth young man, and produce some new fodder.