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Monday, January 09, 2006

I STANK IT UP

I was asked two weeks ago to play the piano and sing at church last night (1-08-06). I said ok, which is what I usually say when somebody asks me this question. Anybody that knows me at all knows that I am not high on myself and anything that I have or can do is because God gave it to me or let me do it. I've never been a fan of my own singing, yet I was music/song leader at our old church for almost two years. It was a God thing and I look back on those Sunday song services as the best time of my life. I have noticed since I was diagnosed with cardiomyopoathy that I don't have the lung power I once had. On a good day I can almost sing as well as I once did but those days are very few. so when I pick a song to play and sing by myself I have to be very careful to pick the right song.
Yesterday I practiced the song I was going to sing quite a few times and pronounced it "READY." Sometime after that a 3 hour nap TOOK me. I woke up dazed and confused about quite a few things but knew I had to get to church early to do a sound check etc. I attached the ear/mic clip to my ear and belt and began to walk around the church to try to wake up. The service started and everything went well. I walked up to the piano after our offering time and THOUGHT I turned the ON switch on the cordless mic unit. I sat down at the piano and noticed the yellow glare from the light above which ususually gives my head an extra tint of shine was bothering my eyes and I could not read the words or key changes very well, but like a good soldier I carried on. I had picked out an old hymn to sing just a few words of and then segue into a newer song.
It is taking all the concentration that I have just to get this started and I begin to softly play a few intro chords.
Suddenly I hear in a loud muffled/whisper type sound,"YOUR MIKE IS NOT ON!!!".

I honestly didn't know what to make of it. I was visibly startled and stopped playing. I looked down, up, sideways and then I looked at the congregation with a questioning glance. I seriously considered my sanity for a few moments because I realized that nobody else had heard that voice.

Then a spattering of applause from the congregation. Somebody says, "Yeah! that was good!"

So I say, "Amen. I wrote that!"

Now everybody is laughing and I get a chance to get my bearings and look back to the guys in the sound booth who have been waving their arms (that's six arms waving that I didn't see) frantically to get my attention. I look down and turn the mic unit on and I wish I could say that I played and sang the best I ever have, but that is not the truth.

I stank it up. I played the wrong chords and sang the wrong words and left out words and generally proceeded to play out the longest 4 minutes of my life. Now comes the hard part.

The hardest part is not actually stankin' it up for a front to back filled church. I am playing this to God, for God .

The hard part is standing up from the piano and walking back to my seat and not actually tripping or falling or passing out from sweating like an Oklahoma banshee under that wicked yellow light with around 400 folks looking at me, some smiling and some not.

I learned a long time ago that we can't make everybody happy and in order to play and sing in church you'd better be doing it for the right reasons.


ps. The sound booth guys had spoken to me through a monitor that stands right next to the piano. I called the pastor later at his home and explained to him what happened and that I wasn't really crazy and he seemed to believe me. But the big question is, "Do you ?"

30 comments:

Badoozie said...

um, well, do i have to answer this? i'm here so i guess i do. i think that your mental insanity thing carried over into this post. i am not sure i understood things. perhaps it is I who is mental. did you actually fall down? and by the way, banshee's don't sweat, they scream. now, just clarify a few things and we will get along fine. did they clap for you when you were done, or was there a mercy silence?

Jenn said...

My husband plays the guitar in church sometimes, and every time he comes back to his seat he says to me, "So how bad WAS it?" I'm always like, "huh?" He notices every little error and it always sounds just fine to me.

Believe me, most of the audience does not really notice when you make mistakes. Maybe if you run off the stage crying, but even then we will all forget about it sooner than you think.

uncle joe said...

Oklahoma banshees are known for their severe sweating.
i have actually fallen down in church trying to maneuver some steps when I needed bifocals and didn't have them.
Jenn, I used to do that but now I don't really worry about it. 99% of folks really can't tell when you hit a bad note and are very sweet in their encouragement. I did tell my wife that everybody else had already forgotten about it.

Ted said...

I really doubt that you stank it up. Be encouraged they didn't get up and leave. One time we were playing at a car show on broadway. At 5:00 all the cars started up and drove away while we were playing. Just a coincidence but I took it personally and walked off the stage in the middle of our set. I got a butt chewing from John Michael because I represented his store. I also represented God but was more worried about my feelings than his.

uncle joe said...

Ted, I have a recording of the son that will prove to you that I STANK IT UP!

uncle joe said...

song

Badoozie said...

well ted, ,your going to have to send me some googled information on sweating banshee's. cause i don't believe you. uncle joe, you didn't answer any of my questions, i am offended

uncle joe said...

I answered one of your questions and I was ignoring the other one. Yes they clapped and smiled as I trotted back to my seat next to AJ. That's when the serious sweating started and I had to excuse myself and get a big drink of water.

Badoozie said...

so you avoided the part where you fell down? or the part where you're insane? help me out here. it's 50/50

uncle joe said...

I'm giving you a "Mercy Silence" right now..................






Amen.

uncle joe said...

I will answer you Susie. Joe is being naughty.

He did not fall down.

He did not stink it up.

The recording is not a true representation of what it sounded like.

It sounded good.

I am probably one of the FEW that noticed the missing words, and they weren't the important ones, so who cares?

Everyone clapped. A lot.

The preacher LOVES to hear Kenny play and always says that from the pulpit when he is done.

I was beaming. I always am.

God liked it. I know because he told me later. He always does.

Everyone else has already forgotten about it, until I remind them @ Wed. night service that is. :0) haha

~Shoot! I forgot to log in as ME!

THIS IS AUNT JOSEFINA

Seeker said...

So, everybody listen to Auntie Joe. He didn't stank, and that's that.

uncle joe said...

FYI I was singing the KJV of the song and leaving out any words at all is BIG STANKIN' !!!!!!!!!1

Aunt Jo said...

It was good!!!(AND VERY FUNNY!) We will remember it for the rest of our lives......when we are old sitting on the porch rockin away we will remember the time you really "stank up the church and heard voices" :o)

Badoozie said...

okay you two, break it up, i don't wanna half to call the gestapo over for a domestic dispute

Saur♥Kraut said...

Well, it does say "make a joyful noise..."

PrayerfulMom said...

I for one can tell you that UJ does have a nice voice, most people that sing are very harsh on themselves though, it just happens...but! I did hear the performance....I’m sure he was not there to gain personal accolades or praise for his own talents but to Glorify God in the words of the song. It was very spirit filled and that’s what came through in the song. So to say you stank it up, nah…never. All Glory to God for the talents He has given and are being presented before the Church. That’s what is ask of ALL of us, to use the talent that God has given each of us for the Glory of God.

uncle joe said...

All I ever really wanted here was for someone to say, "Sorry you Stank, Uncle Joe..."

Aunt Jo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aunt Jo said...

I am sorry you stank Joe. Maybe you should not have had all those beans for lunch Sunday.

Jamie Dawn said...

I've sung all my life in church, up until my throat surgeries which began just over five years ago.
I've seen it all and heard it all, so I believe you.
I was music and women's minister for ten years prior to my voice disorder. My hubby has been a pastor since we married (since 1983) and before that he interend while in college.
Oh, the funny things that have happened in church...
Don't be too hard on yourself.

PrayerfulMom said...

Ok, I was just trying to be polite ! Ha! is that what YOU wanted, I'm crying now, :o( Sheesh....
Padro where are you when I need you!

Badoozie said...

At least YOU don't suffer from voice imodulation like MYSELF.

Aunt Jo said...

Susie, we all suffer from your VI.

Gina Burgess said...

I am quite sure that God enjoyed your perfromance! Perhaps no one in my church loves the way I sing, but when I get to heaven, I just know that God will say, "Come here, Gina. Sit on my lap and sing Me a song." Then He'll harmonize and we'll have a wonderful, wonderful time! If you are very good, I'll let you sit on His other knee and we'll sing for Him.

uncle joe said...

Well Gina Burgess, I'll take you up on that!
Susie, maybe we could start a Christian punk rock band and you could VI to your hearts content...
Jamie Dawn I knew you would understand..........

McSwain said...

Ha ha! I think anyone who's ever performed in front of an audience more than a few times has one of these stories. I have more than one. And I'd be willing to bet that all enjoyed, and no one knew the difference in the words.

McSwain said...

Ha ha! I think anyone who's ever performed in front of an audience more than a few times has one of these stories. I have more than one. And I'd be willing to bet that all enjoyed, and no one knew the difference in the words.

McSwain said...

Ha ha! I think anyone who's ever performed in front of an audience more than a few times has one of these stories. I have more than one. And I'd be willing to bet that all enjoyed, and no one knew the difference in the words.

McSwain said...

Ha ha! I think anyone who's ever performed in front of an audience more than a few times has one of these stories. I have more than one. And I'd be willing to bet that all enjoyed, and no one knew the difference in the words.